Black Sea cRew Hacked By-Taka ft. RevoLLe» FacePanda

Hello Grandma Olsen

Amanda — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:44:31 +0000

Olsen #1: Hey there sis.

Olsen #2: OMG Grandma what are you doing here?

Olsen #1: dude, it’s me, MK.

Olsen #2: PHEW. JEEZ. I’m sorry I thought Grandma came back to life or something. Why are you wearing her clothes and makeup?!

Olsen #1: These are not Granda’s Ashley. These are vintage clothing. All hipster-ish. Do you understand?

Olsen #2: I swear to God Grandma wore that lipstick in the family portrait.

Olsen #1: Whatever.

From Coco to Chanel… More Like to Cancer

Amanda — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:41:36 +0000

Coco wanted to share with us her view on the beach, which most likely involves skin cancer:

This reminds me of grilled chicken. Hmm lunch time.

This is a Big Big Big Mistake – Heidi Klum

Amanda — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:09:04 +0000

Whoever thought pouring sewage water-like chocolate sauce over Heidi Klum would be a good idea should be fired:

A chocolate sauce coated Heidi Klum – inappropriate jokes, go!

So Adam Lambert is into boobs and ass as well

Amanda — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 07:24:17 +0000

It’s only slightly wrong that Adam Lambert, of all people in the world, is having his hands with nail polish on a female model’s ass. This is a prime post of half of the gay world and 15-year-old teenage girls screaming “WTF are you doing?!”

Presenting Suri Cruise, a Lindsay Lohan in the making

Amanda — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:48:34 +0000

This girl is totally a brunette Lindsay Lohan in the making. I promise you in 15 years we will get another crazy celebrity brat with wrinkly skin going in and out of rehab. Looking forward to that, Suri.

Eva Longoria is the new Spock… in lingerie

Amanda — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:11:08 +0000

There’s nothing more gratifying for a girl to point at Eva Longoria and be like, HAHA you look like Spock. Except for guys a hot celebrity with perfect skin and makeup and LINGERIE looking like Spock is like the ultimate fantasy – Star Trek porn!! I bet it doesn’t get better than that.

Madonna is eating… pizza! gasp

Amanda — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:03:53 +0000

The only proof that Madonna is not just a all-skin-and-bones celebrity descended from celebrity heaven… omg she is actually a mortal like the rest of us!

And she also has pizza bits stuck in between her teeth. I mean, ME TOO! Now I’m stay in bed for the rest of the day feeling super special.

Gossip Girl is turning into a vampire show, too

Amanda — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 20:45:47 +0000

You’ve got to be kidding me.

This photo is screaming “Leighton Meester is the latest victim of Ed Westwick’s glowing vampire charm on Gossip Girl” – because in my little world of celebrity skin and makeup, under no other circumstances should BLACK LIPSTICK be used. See how Twilight and True Blood have conquered the world (and the Upper East Side). Damn those vampires are good.

Non-news: Chloe Sevigny is pouty at the Emmys

Amanda — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:32:18 +0000

Chloe Sevigny, why oh why are you doing this pout again?

I like the bright cherry red lipstick with the cute polka dots, and frankly not a lot of people can put off that retro chic look and Chloe you did it perfectly – bravo to your stylist, that is – but man, why are you doing that pout?! WHY???? Why can’t you just smile like everyone else or just pull a “fierce” blank face?

All these questions I wish you could answer, Chloe. Sigh.

Adrianne Curry grilling her boobs under the sun

Amanda — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:30:13 +0000

Yes, Adrianne Curry is hot and has very nice boobs. And abs, and legs. And obviously she loves twittering about it too. But literally grilling your body under the sun until it looks this crisp and brown is a slightly horrifying sight, as not a little carcinogenic:

Maybe Adrianne Curry is trying to score another reality show fighting skin cancer. You never know.