I’ve seen Jessica Simpson in a lot of shapes. Good shape, slightly chubby arms, extremely pouty lips, cake on face, dumb blonde curls – I’ve seen it all.

But Jessica Simpsons with saggy boobs, a bird nest on her head, and a giant scrunchy around her neck? That’s a first.

Wow next thing you know Jessica Simpson will ALSO be dating Gerard Butler and you will know the world has come around full circle.

PS someone bring this poor girl some shampoo and sunscreen for her face please. Greasy hair forehead wrinkles frickles on 80% of skin surface and a general lack of much needed makeup aren’t gonna land her on another Newly Dumped reality TV show.

Obviously FacePanda covers celebrity makeup, and obviously celebrity makeup involves what celebrities put on their faces. But turns out celebrity makeup is more than makeup – it’s whatever it is that you can grab to smear all over your face. In this case, it’s Jessica Simpson’s face and dog saliva:

I hope that tastes good. Because I’m skipping dinner.