Smokey eye is great, but only when you don’t look like someone just punched you in your eyes, Leighton Meester. That plus your red RED lips it’s like screaming “hooker who just got robbed”. Not hot.

Olsen #1: Hey there sis.

Olsen #2: OMG Grandma what are you doing here?

Olsen #1: dude, it’s me, MK.

Olsen #2: PHEW. JEEZ. I’m sorry I thought Grandma came back to life or something. Why are you wearing her clothes and makeup?!

Olsen #1: These are not Granda’s Ashley. These are vintage clothing. All hipster-ish. Do you understand?

Olsen #2: I swear to God Grandma wore that lipstick in the family portrait.

Olsen #1: Whatever.

Dear Lindsay Lohan,

How about, hmm, no? How about putting that face away and using all that hair extension to cover your wrinkly saggy skin? Because it feels/looks like it was very, very, very long ago when you could pull that kiss blowing thing off.

Love,

FacePanda

Either way, we all love it when a celebrity shows up with a baby-bottom forehead. Don’t know about you, at least I love it.

There’s nothing more gratifying for a girl to point at Eva Longoria and be like, HAHA you look like Spock. Except for guys a hot celebrity with perfect skin and makeup and LINGERIE looking like Spock is like the ultimate fantasy – Star Trek porn!! I bet it doesn’t get better than that.

I am having a hard time disgesting the new, borderlining on pedophilia that kind of sexy, probably still underaged, heavily made up Ellen Page. This is probably a conspiracy of Drew Barrymore’s to look like her sister instead of someone who is old enough to be her mother . The makeup is perfect here – great dramatic eye shadow and red lips and a lovely wavy hairdo, but hey, the fresh-faced, awkwardly cute Ellen Page aka Juno was the one we fell in love with. So damn you Drew Barrymore. Or whoever that makeup artist is.

Next time Victoria Beckham tells the world she’s actually the alien queen of the Orion Galaxy, BELIEVE HER. Even if it’s just that very makeup artist who did her eye makeup who tells you that, still, BELIEVE HER.

(btw what’s up with Sarah Jessica Parker’s calves looking half the size of Kristen Davis’?? Do Sarah Jessica Parker has particularly tiny calves or Kristen Davis has unusually chunky legs? Man this is creepy)

I must say Lady Gaga looks relatively normal compared to her usual self in terms of the dress and the hair. And then just when I wanted to say something nice about someone I saw those chemistry class goggles – and oh man. Traumatic memories of high school arose. I have to go cry a little now.

Frankly speaking, I have a lot of respect for Kim Cattrall, unlike someone we know, who is the same age and still tries to pass on as a 25-year-old, Kim Cattrall embraces her aging body with much grace and dignity. Yes she is far from perfect, but hey she looks pretty darn good for her age. The wrinkles that should be there are there, nothing more and nothing less, and the flab that is supposed to be there is there too. I appreciate such honesty that not a lot of people in Hollywood have.

Then of course, you get this so Sex and the City look:

I’m seriously going to spend the rest of the afternoon wondering if Kim Cattrall actually looked that way in the 80s.