Smokey eye is great, but only when you don’t look like someone just punched you in your eyes, Leighton Meester. That plus your red RED lips it’s like screaming “hooker who just got robbed”. Not hot.

Olsen #1: Hey there sis.

Olsen #2: OMG Grandma what are you doing here?

Olsen #1: dude, it’s me, MK.

Olsen #2: PHEW. JEEZ. I’m sorry I thought Grandma came back to life or something. Why are you wearing her clothes and makeup?!

Olsen #1: These are not Granda’s Ashley. These are vintage clothing. All hipster-ish. Do you understand?

Olsen #2: I swear to God Grandma wore that lipstick in the family portrait.

Olsen #1: Whatever.

There’s nothing more gratifying for a girl to point at Eva Longoria and be like, HAHA you look like Spock. Except for guys a hot celebrity with perfect skin and makeup and LINGERIE looking like Spock is like the ultimate fantasy – Star Trek porn!! I bet it doesn’t get better than that.

This photo is screaming “Leighton Meester is the latest victim of Ed Westwick’s glowing vampire charm on Gossip Girl” – because in my little world of celebrity skin and makeup, under no other circumstances should BLACK LIPSTICK be used. See how Twilight and True Blood have conquered the world (and the Upper East Side). Damn those vampires are good.

Leighton Meester is showing ya all out there what her red lips are supposed to be paired up with – dolled up hair and dolled up dress and dolled up eye makeup. Loving it. Very Gossip Girl sassy pouty – probably some of the best celebrity makeup looks I have seen so far.

Hayden Panetierre is not carrying those bright red lips as sassy as Leighton Meester, but she still looks really lovely here with a wavy updo (I LOVE the hair – doesn’t that make you wish you had a celebrity hairstylist too?) and the one thing that makes those lips work is the red dress. She looks a little bit older than she really is, but it’s not overly age inappropriate like many, many other celebrity makeup looks. Hayden also has some of the best celebrity skin I have seen – sometimes an abundance of makeup only highlights the abundance of zits and wrinkle… yep it’s that simple

I like the bright cherry red lipstick with the cute polka dots, and frankly not a lot of people can put off that retro chic look and Chloe you did it perfectly – bravo to your stylist, that is – but man, why are you doing that pout?! WHY???? Why can’t you just smile like everyone else or just pull a “fierce” blank face?

All these questions I wish you could answer, Chloe. Sigh.

Our favorite hotties:

Beyonce

Beyonce, in my humble opinion, looks phenomenal here at the VMAs. The silver eyeshadow looks HOT and I’m just too glad she didn’t decide to go for all red for lips to match the drama of her outfit. The nude lipstick is just perfect. Hair color is lovely for her complexion and while I admit I’m not in love with that “robotic glove”, the overall silver color theme with makeup and outfit makes her look amazing.

Taylor Swift

It’s hard to pull off bright red lipstick and look age-appropriate while being 20 and bullied by Kayne West at the VMAs on national television, but you’ve gotta give to Taylor Swift who did itbeautifully. I love the simple hair updo with some wavy lengths in front, and I love, love, love the simple eyemakeup that is almost her signature now. She has beautiful catshaped eyes and while 90% of young starlets are too busy sticking  gigantic fake spider fashes on, she is smart enough to highlight the lashes on her upper eyelids with simple black eyeliners (and perhaps a bit of fash eyelashes) – and the outcome looks amazing. Bravo Taylor!

Megan Fox

Megan Fox might be trashmouthing a lot of people these days, but her hotness at the VMAs is quite undeniable. The black nail polish is edgy (much like her frequent outlandish quotes), her makeup is delicately done but not not excessively done. Sexy lipstick color, and sexy eye makeup – hard to believe that Megan Fox actually doesn’t want to be known for sex appeal huh?

I’m not sure about these..

Leighton Meester

There’s just so much going on here, Leighton Meester. I love the hair but I don’t know about the eye makeup… a little fierce for the sweet Leighton Meester? Not everyone should pull a Jennifer Lopez on the red carpet.

Jennifer Lopez

Talking about Jennifer Lopez – interesting choice of eye shadow, brows very, very nicely done, pretty lipstick color, so great nutshell, great work Jennifer Lopez’ makeup artist, whoever you are. And Jennifer Lopez’s signature dazed I’m-so-fierce face at the VMAs, yawn.

More photos for VMAs celebrities looking WTF after the jump (Madonna, Lady Gaga, Lauren Conrad, etc)

Madonna

On one hand I’m kind of glad that Madonna isn’t being all veins and muscles on her face, but on the other hand, I HATE that hair. It’s borderlining on a strange Amy Winehouse-like beehive do, and absolutely, absolutely, age inappropriate. The same thing I say to Sharon Stone’s crotch, NO.

Lauren Conrad

I don’t know Lauren Conrad, you are kind of, ah, orange. Did the VMAs give you an excessive amount of  free fake tanning coupons or what?!

Our favorite VMA WTFs

Kayne West and Amber Rose

The ever-so-classy Amber Rose in some sort of spadex thing with omg those pink lips with Kayne West having hard booze in the background on the VMAs red carpet. The world is so predictable.

Lo Bosworth

Hey Lo Bosworth, you are really, really scaring the sh*t out of me. For one, your VMA makeup artist really pulled a prank on you by giving you those super oversized eyelashes and she also probably told you that they are “totally hot this season”, but hey, it’s totally not. And please ditch that lipstick. Pick it up from your purse, throw it into the nearest trash can, and tell your makeup artist to take it far, far away.

Adrienne Bailon

Don’t know who Adrienne Bailon is? It’s ok, we don’t really either. This girl managed to pick the weirdest color combination in the world (bright yellow and bright pink?!! really?!) and showed up at the VMAs going for the highschool porn star-ish trashy makeup prom queen look. And oh, by the way, she used to be one of the Cheetah Girls of Disney’s. What’s up with trashiness and Disney these days?!

The WTF Queen of the VMAs – Lady Gaga

I guess Lady Gaga showing up like a laced-up lampshade wasn’t really a huge surprise for anyone at the VMAs. Emininem included. But this:

Look, doesn’t matter how convincing your makeup artist is, doesn’t matter how enticing it sounds – smearing blood all over your face and showing up on a stage with BLOODY PANTIES is never, under no cirstances, a good idea. I hereby rest my case.

ok I know Solange Knowles isn’t exactly known for her normality in fashion and makeup, but look, I hate the hair. But not as much as I hate those lips. I understand why someone goes for bright red to play up the sexiness blablabla, but light pink is for 13-year-olds. PERIOD. And those lips are so pinkly swollen, they are, in fact, almost as thick as those hedious silver earrings that she probably bought from a dollar store. I’m not even going to go into the powder face – I love Beyonce but my god, were they actually conceived in the same uterus?! Well at least not the same makeup artist, that much I know.

I am having a hard time disgesting the new, borderlining on pedophilia that kind of sexy, probably still underaged, heavily made up Ellen Page. This is probably a conspiracy of Drew Barrymore’s to look like her sister instead of someone who is old enough to be her mother . The makeup is perfect here – great dramatic eye shadow and red lips and a lovely wavy hairdo, but hey, the fresh-faced, awkwardly cute Ellen Page aka Juno was the one we fell in love with. So damn you Drew Barrymore. Or whoever that makeup artist is.

“My boobs aren’t as big as my sister’s and I didn’t just get dumped by Tony Romo but hey my eyes are big and my lips are REALLY red and my eyeliners are all over the place (actually so is my eye shadow but I’m going for that rocker chick MILF look – isn’t that hot I got it from my husband!) SO look at me look at me look at me look at me look at me LOOK AT ME LOOOKKKK ATTTTT MMMMEEEEEEEEE”