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Not-so-Little Women: Winona Ryder is My Crazy 56-year-old Aunt

Amanda — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 20:45:57 +0000

Oh Winona Ryder. I don’t even know what to say about you. Well for one, that is A LOT of lines right there on your forehead. And your eyebrows are reminding me of this crazy eyebrow lady Danielle Staub and your makeup is reminding me of my super intense aunt who used to come over to my house every other day insisting she would teach me French. And what’s up with those glasses on your head?!!

Can you imagine this girl used to be the sweet sweet girl who played Jo in the Little Women? Man, that makes me want to sit down and reflect on my life for a little while.

Katie Price’s Lovely Consistency of Class

Amanda — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 23:40:19 +0000

So you know, I just came back from my trips and then BAMM!! The world I know have forever changed – Michael Jackson died, Jon Gosselin is now going out with some random women, Katie Holmes is on So You Think You Can Dance, then Jessica Simpson got dumped – so you can’t blame me for having a little existential crisis. UNTIL I came back to seeing Katie Price’s priceless face and I went Phewwww – the world is still the same one that I left:

Such beautiful fake busy eyebrows, 2 kg of fake eyelashes on each side, combined with that glare coming off her orange skin, Katie Price, your makeup and your face (and probably your book too) are priceless. Thank you for restoring my faith in this world’s consistency of bad celebrity makeup.

photo from

The Return of Christina Aguilera’s Sharpie Eyebrows

Amanda — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:17:39 +0000

Something tells me that FacePanda cannot go by without seeing Christina Aguilera’s extraordinary face at least once a week. I am actually impressed by how consistent Christina Aguilera’s cakeicing makeup is – look at them eyebrows! I would never get tired staring at them and being astonished how someone walks out with two Sharpie strokes on her forehead.

photo from Christina-crazy.net

The Real Eyebrows of New Jersey: Danielle Staub

Amanda — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 14:46:48 +0000

Wooh. Yes this is Danielle Staub from The Real Housewives of New Jersey. And no, I don’t know what she has done to get on TV. But yes, apparenly Jersey doesn’t just have fake housewives and malls. And ohhhh YEESSSSS those are some CRAZY eyebrows.

Deja Vu: Emma Watson and That Creepy Kid from The Omen

Amanda — Mon, 18 May 2009 21:37:00 +0000

Remember that exceedingly creepy looking kid from the Omen?

Turns out he grew up, dyed his eyebrows white, joined a convent, and became Emma Watson:

photos from Daylife and Snitch Seeker

Spider-face

Amanda — Wed, 06 May 2009 05:05:34 +0000

Because Kirsten Dunst is such a fashion-forward, quirky, effortlessly cool, and perhaps perpetually stoned character, when I see her showing up at functions looking like this is always thought-provoking:

Like, why are her eyebrows disappearing? Is it a anti-fashion statement to prove that thick brows might be back for the masses, but she is different from us all after all? Why are her eyelashes blue? Did she do it to match her dress? Should I start doing that too? Will she show up next week in a white dress and with white lashes? And her cheeks – why do they look so… plastic and so pink? Is that supposed to accentuate the lashes? Or the eyebrows? Or the lack of eyebrows?

Oh my. I’m so confused.

photo from Kirsten Dunst.org

Brows in a Bottle

Amanda — Tue, 05 May 2009 04:12:28 +0000

Dear Christina,

I was going to make a joke about your eyelases being so heavy that you can’t open your eyes, but then I went on Wikipedia and saw this:

then I came to realize that you are really, really trying. I just didn’t realize that your brows are actually eyelid lifters. My bad.

picture from ChristinaZone