This is a typical What the Hell Happened?! post.

Because last time I checked it was Britney Spears who popped out 2 kids and not K-Fed. But then again I can be wrong. We all know how childbirth could transform a body, saggy boobs and a bulging stomach are only the symbols of the miracle of life. And we shall not judge.

Hey Y’all,

Well my message today is that we all have drive safely, especially in Britney Spears zones where she might just spring out of the side of the highway and end up being your roadkill of the night. So beware of those big, big eyes with a lot, I mean, A LOT, or eyeliner around them – that’s the signature eye makeup of a Britney Spears roadkill. Drive safely, avoid playing Hit Me Baby One More Time, and stay alive people.

Survivor,

FacePanda

It was just yesterday when I was just saying how freshfaced Britney Spears looks without all that makeup and hair extensions, and then Candy pops this ad out with Britney Spears not with REAL makeup, but something even better – Photoshop makeup. I swear to God there’s only that much airbrush eyeshadow and airbrush lipstick we can take.

Doesn’t it make you miss highschool? Like those days when Britney Spears did her little Kiss Me Baby One More Time number in that little school uniform and she was still a virgin (I mean, hey she told the world!) before she got serial knocked up. Look at how fresh-faced she looks here! Yeah she can use a little shampoo, but she looks genuinely happy, healthy, and UN-TRASHY here. I never thought I would set the bar THAT low, but when Britney Spears steps out of the house without all that trashy makeup, I think that’s a gigantic step forward for mankind. Or Hollywood. Maybe just Hollywood. Hmm.

Saggy cheeks, $500. Trashy eye shadow smudge, $56.5. Greasy extensions, $20.99 (from Walmart). HUGE double chin, $5.98 (Starbucks).

Britney Spears looking like a middle-aged pimp? Priceless.

photo from Poor Britney